Why me?

I ask myself this question so often. Usually it is because I am having a pity party by myself....

There are a lot of tough things going on right now and I don't understand why it has to be this way. I have all the head knowledge of how good God is, how He will use this to my good and His glory, that He is always faithful... I know these things, and believe them...I just want to feel it and see it.

However, this post is not about that. I have many blessings that I could say why me to, yet I tend to think why not me. I take them as my right and not my blessings. So, this post is to give glory where it is due...the Giver of all the "why me's" in my life.

Why me, Lord?...Why do I have three gorgeous kids when others struggle? I thank you for the blessings that I take forgranted and sometimes mistreat.

Why me Lord?...Why do I have health and strength? I have a strong body that I often over feed and under use. I complain when I have minor aches and pains when others live in chronic pain or disease. Thanks for my health.

Why me Lord? This is a question that will probably never have the answers that totally satisfy until I meet my Jesus face to face. I am glad that I have a Savior that is big enough to handle my whys and not turn away.

This being said...I had a fun day with my family. I really like being together all five of us and just goofing around.

Deklan is such a shyster...always pulling a fast one and running even faster! Oh me makes me laugh.

Tobyn coming to defend or rescue and just be a part of everything that is going on. She will not and does not miss a beat.

Nate just happily watches and tries so hard to get into what we are doing. Soon enough my love.

Raynold...a nerd through and through...but he always makes us laugh and tackle him.

Verse of the Day:

Isaiah 40:11 "He tends his flock like a shepard: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those with young."

I love this verse. It gives me comfort when I ask why. I don't know the answers to the why's but I do know HE leads me, and carries me close to His heart. How precious is that? He gently leads those that have young...Oh how I remind Him of this and He truly has never failed me.

Today we walked a mile for Liberian orphans. This was the second year that we did this. It is a good reminder for me that no matter how tough it is right now, we still have options. These kids and moms have no options, I can't imagine how difficult it would be to hear your kids crying from hunger and not be able to do anything about it! It is so good for me to get over myself and see that others have struggles too. I have so many blessings. So, I am going to list some of them here today to remind myself that there is so many things that I can and should be grateful and thankful for.

I am thankful that my relationship with Dad is on the mend and that if I have not seen him in two weeks, I really miss him. Even Raynold does too. That is truly a miracle, and one I am so thankful for.

I am so glad for my husband and three amazing kids. I can't even imagine what my life would be without each one. God has so uniquely and perfectly put this family together in more precious ways than I could have ever imagined.

I am thankful for the really tough times we have and are having. It is so hard somedays, but the trust I am learning in a big God that can take may ranting vents, my prayerful praise and rushed requests is so good.

I am thankful for my mom and brothers and their families. I am so blessed to have each one of them. They make my life full of laughter, love and such great memories.

I am so thankful for my aunt and uncle and my cousins. I feel so accepted and loved and wanted by them. They have loved me through more than one crisis. They have taught me how deeply a family was meant to love and that family is always there for you.

I am so glad for my pets. Sounds crazy, but I believe they are a godsend to this family. Our dog, Boots, she sleeps in front of our door and guards us well. She is so gentle with the kids and when we walk, she follows behind and is on constant guard for our safety. Our kitten, Shack, is so fun to watch. Watching her often makes me smile or laugh out loud and man do I need that! She loves to play with kids and she is very good with them too.

This "thankful" exercise was good for me. I feel strengthened and renewed.

Verse of the day:

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I love that the Bible has no idle words. When He commands us to give thanks in all things, He knows what is He talking about, it actually brings joy and healing to our hearts, even if the circumstances have not changed. I love my Jesus.

Nate and his God provided miracle

I tried to put this on with the post, but apparently I don't really know what I am doing:) So, here is Natey enjoying his formula.

Everyday miracles

Well, it has been almost two months since my last post. I keep forgetting that I have one!
The last two months have been quite full. Day by day it seems a little boring at times, but... looking back, quite a lot has gone on.
Our buisness is completely over and that has been quite hard for me. Not about the buisness per say but with all the other stuff that comes with it: People hating you, not being able to do things you used to take forgranted, like paying bills and whatnot.
God is teaching us so much each day and one of them is that He is able to make something out of nothing, take creation for example. We have witnessed many miracles, maybe we always have, now we are actually paying attention and thanking God for all the little things.
One huge example of his provision is formula for my baby. I did not have more money to buy some, but did not feel comfortable with putting him on milk yet. I talked to a dear friend about it and she told me to call the health nurse. So, I swallowed my pride and did and wow did God prove himself faithful. My health nurse showed up about 15 minutes later with his arms full of formula for free! About 4 weeks worth of it! I was so overwhelmed with gratitude and praise.
Day to day is a struggle but I keep thinking of George Mueller( a man who trust God for absolutely everything and never lacked) and I remember that the God who was more than faithful to George is also more than faithful to Nitasha.
I am so awed by the fact that the God who will soon return on white horse in amazing glory cares about my little son and his need for formula. Love so amazing, so divine, demands my life, my soul, my all.....
Verse of the day:
"Cast ALL your anxiety on Him for He cares for you." 1 Peter 4:7